tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-37934861837077130562011-10-06T07:41:35.825-07:00<i>the incoherent ramblings of a wanna-be movie critic</i>Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.comBlogger461100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-15230759648527056762011-04-06T02:10:00.000-07:002011-04-07T02:28:22.808-07:00

Trailers today. Update tomorrow. Here's a polar bear that disapproves of me.Trailers? FUCK YEAH!Tron: The Next DayFlynn LivesThe Hangover Part IICan they surpass the original? I'm thinking FUCK YEAH.Green LanternI wasn't sure about this at first, but now...Captain America: The First AvengerExact opposite of Green Lantern. Now, I'm not sure I want to see this.Your HighnessJames Franco, how you be

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-68837345405774624362011-01-28T21:00:00.000-08:002011-07-29T18:51:23.451-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the movies Another trailer that has more action than the movie? Almost... The trailer is a thing of beauty, really. The studio has the editor go through all the footage and snatch up the fun little segments, stringing them together so that the potential viewer gets excited to spend their hard earned money to go and see the film. Another angle of its creation, though,

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-89457351832553669732011-01-14T20:45:00.000-08:002011-02-10T18:53:15.507-08:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesSeems like Kato can bend the Matrix to his will.All movies have holes, but I always wondered how exactly Kato was able to acquire all those lovely toys for the Black Beauty and keep it a secret. Machine guns, ammunition, bomb parts, chemicals, lab equipment... Does the Reid estate's accountant just file it under "Miscellaneous Crap Britt Buys"? And, if he does,

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-60884043078570293912010-12-31T20:10:00.000-08:002011-01-08T14:49:21.831-08:00

2010 is over already? Wow... Time sure does fly when life picks up speed, especially more ways than one. I do feel bad that I've been neglecting this site, but the projects I'm involved in are rather important (paid projects vs unpaid review site. hmmm...). Nevertheless, it is once again that time of year where we look over to the magic of Kees's ability to take us through the last year.Happy

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-55685935128359271482010-11-24T20:10:00.000-08:002011-02-01T16:35:29.537-08:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesEvery guy is up for a challenge. This one... is different. Sort of.Anne Hathaway has always been this... enigma in the realm of film. Well, for me anyway. Everytime I see her, thoughts similar to "She's absolutely gorgeous!" fall parallel to "What's the deal with her eyebrows?" It's a curious factor to have in an actress. I love her eyes. Her smile is just a

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-52451638238560372232010-11-21T18:30:00.000-08:002010-11-21T19:08:41.994-08:00

The past few months have been hectic to say the least. I've got my hands in several projects, working full time on my English degree, and flushing out a couple stories on the side; however, I have not forgotten this site [yeah, i did] and I have a bunch of new and old reviews that I'll be posting up later this week! [or something like that]I could go for some toast...I'm jumping onto a Sunday

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-25867248102115640282010-08-15T18:30:00.000-07:002010-11-21T19:10:35.993-08:00

Your [wannabe] hero is back after an unexpected hiatus from the internets as a whole. Back online, this writer is back to take on these movies with a reviewing vengeance! No? Don't believe me? Hmmm... Would you believe an energized push? How about a somewhat enthused attempt? *sigh*I present: growing up with siblingsI'm going to go on a schedule of updating every Monday and Thursday just to keep

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-69525819363977104092010-07-23T14:45:00.000-07:002011-04-25T11:47:10.167-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the movies How ridiculous is this movie? Jolie MacGyvers a bazooka out of cleaning supplies and a fire extinguisher. Yeah. This was rather disappointing. Actually, let me take that back. It wasn't so much as "disappointing" as it was "surprising." And not in a good way, either. The little I heard about this movie gave me the impression that this would become like a

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-28100108123894058052010-06-23T19:10:00.000-07:002011-04-25T14:45:21.882-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the movies You smell like... crazy religion... and pineapples. Oh, Cameron. What is it about you that peaks my interest whenever I hear your name? I have seen far too many films in which you were involved, and you are one of the very small pool of women over 35 that I find... exceptionally appealing. And Cruise? You are quite the paradox. In "RL," you come off as a

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-11695350250792263532010-06-04T03:00:00.000-07:002010-06-13T14:44:40.038-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesSo, when does Knight and Day come out?Ugh. I must have a deep-seeded hatred for Katherine Heigl because I went into this movie already in a bad mood. There's just something about her... like her inability to be anything other than a whiny, awkward wench in a romantic comedy. Seriously. Every fucking role she's been in is the same God damn thing, surrounded by a

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-42297210942138802912010-04-23T04:00:00.000-07:002010-06-13T16:26:52.556-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesLive action, eh? Wonder how this plays out...Following the ever growing trend of converting an idea from medium [books, comics, video games] to another [take a guess], Dark Castle Entertainment and Warner Brothers bring us a story about a military unit that was double-crossed, set-up to be killed, and must fight to clear their names. Wait... Didn't I watch 80's

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-18056168365613182472010-04-17T10:30:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:30:26.068-07:00

Still alive. Working overtime to get older reviews done. facebook Fan Page set up. Post suggestions for movies/games there. Continue to comment on everything you can here [see sidebar]. This animal is very fond of this tree fragment:Trailers, motha fucka!The A-Team (2010)What's with all the bloody remakes?!The Other Guys (2010)Another buddy cop movie... with a Ferrel twist?A Nightmare on Elm

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-8321056708127520742010-04-16T02:15:00.000-07:002010-04-20T16:47:28.165-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the movies...Whoa.Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-10490405726923545442010-04-09T22:30:00.000-07:002010-05-06T14:55:13.655-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesSteve Carell and Tina Fey? How can I lose?!Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-92029248636069173642010-04-02T02:00:00.000-07:002010-05-06T14:57:34.587-07:00

A few days ago was the anniversary of the birth of this one sarcastic wank I know, but that's unimportant. What is important is this trailer I found...Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?! Was it really necessary to create a action movie involving the stars of almost every action flick created over the past decade? Let's rattle some of them off, shall we? *deep breath* The-ere's... Sylvester Stallone, Jason

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-54482228246416634952010-04-02T01:30:00.000-07:002010-06-13T16:31:53.712-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesGRATUITOUS YELLING!Mythology has always been something I've found intriguing. The story arcs. Epic battles. Hero overcoming incredible odds [usually at the expense of a red shirt here and there]. Good shit. A huge visual application of said mythology on the big screen? Fantastic! A remake of an entertaining classic, updating the storyline and plot? Fairly good

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-32791628881545557252010-03-26T15:00:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:30:13.233-07:00

Four days until the 24th year. Hmmm...Dearest non-existent readers, the life of this writer has gotten rather stale. The most exciting thing I do these days is strike up random conversation with strangers on the way to and from school. Ooooo... Also, I really have to start writing again; the backlog on my reviews/short stories/scripts/novel is grossly overflowing. I've been spending too much time

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-61216087771381596292010-03-26T01:10:00.000-07:002010-06-13T16:28:44.807-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesFly, Toothless! Take me to where my dreams come true!Oh Dreamworks. Here you've provided yet another family orientated, feel good film. Not that I blame you or anything. I mean, there isn't much wiggle room in the world of family animations, is there? Introduce Underdog > Small Conflict > Montage > Fall From Grace > Major Conflict > Underdog's Rise to Heroism >

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-18802388192941940272010-03-19T18:45:00.000-07:002010-04-05T19:42:10.552-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesDidn't I see a musical about this shit?Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-84558387589067958522010-03-12T21:30:00.000-08:002010-06-12T00:32:36.994-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesWait... Rated R? Where are the titties?!I completely stand by my italicized statement. This movie has all the makings of a "Rated R" teenage sex comedy. But, unlike every other flick from the category, it completely lacks said nudity. I saw Crossing Over [nsfw]. I know Alice has glorious mammary glands, damn it. But whatever. That's Ms. Scarlet talking.This

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-25242580566956341522010-02-12T20:30:00.000-08:002010-04-05T19:42:31.251-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesLet's see how well they adapt the lore...Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-61198483603849832172010-01-01T00:00:00.000-08:002011-01-08T14:51:44.618-08:00

My, oh my... What a strange and wonderful adventure this year has been. I have lived through the highest of highs and the lowest of lows, all the while experiencing films that spurred my every emotion. With 2009 wrapped up, it seems almost necessary to go back and reminisce what the year's cinema put forth before us.Happy Holidays. I'll see you at the movies...rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-85326009219055327262009-12-25T22:15:00.000-08:002010-04-05T19:42:41.016-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesThere are some... "interesting" scenes here...Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-40099287678630205562009-12-04T19:45:00.000-08:002010-04-05T19:41:55.711-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesNice cast... Should be good.Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-22751117577199746152009-11-20T20:50:00.000-08:002010-06-13T14:46:07.374-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesTaylor and Robert? Gay. Just look at his gaze. *shudder*I was going to tear this horrifically shitty movie a new asshole, but the amount of frustration I have due to all the popularity it's getting [solely based on the idiotic tween, fan-girl craze, mind you], I'd just end up in an hour long, explicitly vulgar and incoherent rant. Therefore, I'm going to let

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-33552521330094545402009-10-02T02:50:00.000-07:002010-04-05T19:43:05.284-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesHuh. That ain't somethin' ya see every day...*maniacal laughter*Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-89182071747484950982009-10-01T17:15:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:31:24.656-07:00

After an unexpected, extended [but gloriously wonderful] stay in The Large Onion, I have returned to my gang riddled, collagen and silicone infused Southland. Finding myself behind these keys seems almost off, though; having spent over a month away from them, I have to readjust myself, going through the awkward silence, false greetings, and forced "catching up" so acquainted with seeing someone

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-36822874034771050462009-09-25T22:20:00.000-07:002010-04-05T19:43:15.121-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesI am getting way too old for this crap... -py type of movie.Sweet merciful crap was this bad. Oy... I had such high hopes. Well, not that high. Higher than what I saw, anyway.Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-12603249871430857272009-09-09T02:22:00.000-07:002010-04-05T19:43:23.856-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesPretend that red eyed thing is this movie. Do what they're doing.Just read the image description. And follow it.Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-25996584163357986542009-09-04T22:00:00.000-07:002010-04-05T19:43:31.777-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesYou givin' my wife googly eyes?!Yes and no. Yes. And no.Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-18054380610618874832009-08-22T21:50:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:31:45.932-07:00

Oh my how RL has gotten serious... A serious family situation occurred and I found out through my grandmother telling me while I was watching shows online. That information made my night... rather off, to say the least. After several mobile jingles [and my reacquaintance with cigarettes], I was only able to get my head and mood straight after reassuring words from a sweetheart and a brutally long

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-88468560175334684242009-08-21T05:35:00.000-07:002010-04-05T19:43:46.558-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesAre you fuckers ready for this?This is one of the best Quentin Tarantino movies made to date. Take that as you will.Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-9860139344196238192009-08-09T04:40:00.000-07:002010-04-05T19:43:55.317-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesThe movie? Not as awesome as this.Where, oh where shall I start this review? Full Review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-92024934302998917842009-07-31T06:30:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:32:10.504-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesThis was one of the few times I actually laughed. *sigh*Funny People. "Funny" People. FUNNY... People. I surely hope I'm not the only person out there with the assumption that when a film is listed as a comedy and has the bloody word "Funny" in its title that laughs should ensue while watching said film. Alas, this was not the case.Sure, I chuckled here and

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-37627073689518915642009-06-24T01:25:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:32:24.600-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesOPTIMUS FUCKING DIES! Oh, by the way, Spoiler Alert.First and foremost, if you thought this movie was "the best movie of the year" by any standards, please feel free to open the driver's side door on the closest vehicle you have access to, place your head in the opening, and repeatedly slam the door closed; we, as a people, must cull our numbers, and the

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-52032280393536660122009-05-21T11:30:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:32:39.455-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesThis isn't where I parked my car...My, oh, my... This movie season has been quite the vomit-inducing roller coaster ride, hasn't it? There have been mind-blowing films along with quite a few... sad ones. But where, oh where, does this little tidbit fall? The answer... is surprisingly in-between [though closer to the lower end of that area].Salvation is a bit

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-61109447908365733382009-05-12T22:45:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:32:50.184-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesI'm from the future... This movie sucks...In a time of fairly well done to unbelievably spectacular remakes and sequels, one would hope that this trend would carry on with this story continuation of the cult classic Donnie Darko. *sigh* Let's just dash those hopes while we're ahead, shall we? When I first stumbled upon the trailer many a month ago, I was

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-17950157943865925402009-05-08T11:10:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:33:04.890-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesNow that is one hell of a snow cone maker...God damn it, why did you have to go and be a good film? You're a bloody Star Trek film, for crying out loud! You're supposed to be crap! Erg... Now what am I supposed to ridicule and methodically tear down?If you couldn't already tell, I very much enjoyed Star Trek. The fact that I feigned aggression rather than

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-44514094993491665772009-05-01T23:15:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:33:20.541-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesI wonder how they're going to rape character bios this time...Many people I knew personally had wondrous hopes for this film. I still remember the buzz in various cliques when the leaked trailer hit the web. It had all sorts of goodies: shots of lovable Mutant characters, bone claws [girlish squeal], and action galore. It looked like the folks at Hollywood

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-82424423552195354092009-04-17T00:10:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:33:32.226-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesWhy do I've got a feeling today's going to be fucked?!For those of you who haven't seen the original Crank, please feel free to slap yourself now and stop reading this intro. For those of you that have, this sequel is best described as so: take all of the intensity from the first one, mix it with the zaniness of a B-Movie, personify it, inject it with a crystal

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-60798138350000876892009-04-03T00:15:00.000-07:002010-04-15T11:38:19.115-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesA lot of funny actors in this... Should be good... Hopefully...Full review coming soon.RATING: rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-71558517871695801712009-03-20T19:30:00.000-07:002010-06-10T23:33:46.304-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesWe're going to save the world from Lesbian Vampires? Bullocks.After watching some utterly horrid vids, I was in a definite mood for seeing something silly. But what? A dark comedy? A family comedy? A romantic... comedy? That's when I saw it. I was perusing the Interwebs for that one something worth watching [and I'm not talking about porn... this time] when I

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-18487189707153190092009-03-06T02:45:00.000-08:002010-04-02T19:08:03.765-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesThe only good thing in this movie.A wholly boring flick. There was a complete lack of non-Rorschach character development, and entirely pointless parts [i.e. softcore sex] were consistently thrown in as if just to create a bit of a shock factor to the movie. And there were far, far too many "Blue Wang" scenes [i was honestly expecting Mr. Manhattan to start

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-73020843312004564782009-02-06T11:30:00.000-08:002010-06-10T23:34:07.905-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesIronic symbolism? Perhaps...In yet another example of hype vs quality, Fanboys sadly does not live up to what many people were hoping for. That is not saying it is at all a horrid flick, mind you; it just could have been without the aforementioned hype.Fanboys was swimming in a seemingly perpetual limbo, teasing Star Wars fans with release dates and trailers

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-62610136276676240292009-01-23T22:35:00.000-08:002010-06-10T23:34:21.560-07:00

a visual orgy :: night at the moviesby Andrew Huerta 2008So much potential. I had high hopes... Underworld: Rise of the Lycans is the third movie to be released of this series. If you're some of the very few people who haven't heard or seen the other two, consider yourself lucky. Now before all you fanboys come rushing to my L.A. home, torches and pitchforks in hand, please note that I found the

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3793486183707713056.post-37111656537293477762000-03-30T14:08:00.000-08:002010-06-12T00:34:10.519-07:00

Looking for the "perfect" movie? Never going to fucking happen. Ever. You will never, ever see the following appear after a movie review...RATING: Why not? Every movie has it's flaws. And nothing can be perfect. Oh, there will be some bloody brilliant flicks out there, but none of them will reach the perfect rating.Sorry, I guess.rock hard. live harder. o_O

Mysturhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13083147133574097317noreply@blogger.com0