So, when does Knight and Day come out?
Ugh. I must have a deep-seeded hatred for Katherine Heigl because I went into this movie already in a bad mood. There's just something about her... like her inability to be anything other than a whiny, awkward wench in a romantic comedy. Seriously. Every fucking role she's been in is the same God damn thing, surrounded by a slightly different plot. Zero range. Do something different, woman! Prove me wrong, flexing the acting skills you claim to possess. Then again, I don't ever see you actually being selected for any role other than the said whiny, awkward wench in a romantic comedy. Sad. Not unlike this movie...
Insert Jen Kornfeldt [Heigl]: recently single, 30-something woman who "reluctantly" joins her parents [Tom Selleck and Catherine O'Hara] on a vacation to the French Riviera. While there she bumps into Spencer Aimes [Ashton Kutcher], a charming and handsome... consultant. Remarkably, these two fall for each other and get hitched. Flash forward three years and it's Spencer's birthday. His present? A $20 million bounty on his head. Suddenly sleepers all around him are activated, each vying for that glorious sum of money. Caught up in the rampage, Jen must not only survive the crossfire, but forgive her husband for not telling her he's actually retired assassin. Gripping, ain't it? Bleagh...
The whole concept is thin, even with my attempt at a gratuitous suspension of disbelief. I couldn't connect to anyone in this story, nor was there any chemistry at all between the main characters. Jen is constantly throwing hissy fits, even though everyone they know is trying to kill them, and Spencer is a bumbling wank with fairly decent fighting skills, but nothing spectacular. Any romance that's supposedly connecting these two just wasn't there at all. In fact, I'm confused as to why they got together in the first place. She apparently makes Spencer feel "normal" where as Jen... well, she played the shallow, googly eyes over his abs bullshit. Not exactly a promising romance.
How much longer do we have to act like we love each other?
So, there's bland acting, thin storyline, and zero chemistry. Action? Average at best. With the "killers" being played by a slew of C-List actors and comedians, you can't honestly expect spectacular fight scenes. When you get to the end, there is a twist... kind of, but you easily saw coming. Rather fizzled out at the end, actually.
Killers is listed as a romantic comedy, but it was severely lacking in both. I don't recommend anyone seeing this in theaters, nor do I recommend renting this film. The ONLY way I see you sitting through this is if your significant other has a crush on one of the stars and wants to watch it strictly for that. If that's the case, make them pay for the rental and snacks.
Selleck's mustache is seriously the equivalent to Norris's beard.
RATING:
rock hard. live harder. o_O
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