Contained in the proceeding are movie reviews written by the lead writer at Mystur Inc. All reviews are rated on a five scale system, highest rating being five full logos. Also, the dates in which the movie reviews are posted correlate with the movie's release date, not when they were written.

Please note that one should tread carefully while reading; THE WRITER FREELY DROPS SPOILERS AND VULGARITIES THROUGHOUT HIS REVIEWS. If you do not appreciate writings of this nature, please leave now and search for a sense of humor and a way to stop being so bloody sensitive. Seriously. The movie is about the visual journey; not the fact that Darth Vader is Luke's father or that the Narrator and Tyler Durden are the same guy. Wait... You knew that right? Um...

Have a great day!

02 April 2010

mystur inc :: perpetual construction

A few days ago was the anniversary of the birth of this one sarcastic wank I know, but that's unimportant. What is important is this trailer I found...


Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?! Was it really necessary to create a action movie involving the stars of almost every action flick created over the past decade? Let's rattle some of them off, shall we? *deep breath* The-ere's... Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Coutur, Steve Austin, Terry Crews, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Danny Trejo... *gasp*

This flick has the potential to either make my brain explode from its sheer epicness, or cause my brain to explode from me smashing my head against the wall due to its incredible stupidity. Oh yeah. Stallone is directing it.

I'm sitting on a 20/80 chance...


rock hard. live harder. o_O
Written around 02:00

4 Reviews of My Review:

  1. Are you kidding me? 20 to 80? No way it's more like a 100% chance of suck with a needle in a hay stack chance of epic. Yet I still want to see it... damn my curiosity.

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  2. I was factoring in the possibility for campy, mindless fun but I guess that's out of the question... It might have the same action "cool" factor that Rambo had, though. That movie sucked bad, but the action was ridiculous [in a good way].

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  3. i wonder how they pitched the movie to these people.. lol no jean claude van damme?? but he was soo good pretending he was blind in blood sport.

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  4. This movie is what kills a group of washed up action heroes.

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