We're going to save the world from Lesbian Vampires? Bullocks.
After watching some utterly horrid vids, I was in a definite mood for seeing something silly. But what? A dark comedy? A family comedy? A romantic... comedy? That's when I saw it. I was perusing the Interwebs for that one something worth watching [and I'm not talking about porn... this time] when I found it: a trailer for a British Horror Comedy. YES...
Straight away, you're tossed into the back story of Camilla, the vampire queen, and the curse she made on a small town of Cragwich. Flash forward a couple hundred years and we come across downtrodden, hopeless romantic Jimmy [Mathew Horne] and his smart-mouth, beer and titty lovin' lad Fletch [James Corden] in not the most pleasant of situations. Needing a break from the drag of their miserable lives, they decide to go hiking [well, Jimmy decides they should go camping; Fletch finds the whole concept horrid] in a place chosen by fate, a dart, and a map of England [take a guess where it lands]. Off our two heroes go, Fletch's humorous quips carrying our giggles along the way. Insert a group of sexy women and an old cottage, and the "horror" is underway. Lesbian vampires and bubbling cum explosions are the main course for the remainder of the flick. Even a priest with vampiric knowledge and weaponry joins the battle. Finally, after the killing of a resurrected queen, the protagonists drive into the sunrise, off to kill more demons and monsters and whatnot because, well, they've got nothing better to do.
Timid descendant of ancient hero & fun-loving buddy cliché? Check.
Besides the campy and wholly silly production of the film, I loved how they very much made the flick feel like you were reading a comic book. Scenes changed with a visual page turn and new areas were named with text cleverly strewn about the environment. Nudity wasn't necessarily rampant, but it was included to a light degree. And the humor was mostly tongue-in-cheek throughout this adventure. Fletch continuously sparked chuckles with his dialog and Jimmy walked the line of irritating and lovable superbly.
This movie isn't for everyone, mind you. The production wasn't huge [€50,000 budget and Straight-to-DVD] and it's nature was geared towards 18 to 25 year old males. However, cheesiness aside, it was a delightfully well-made romp that's unlike the ordinary B-Movies you're likely to come across. Give it a gander, oh humble reader. I'm sure you'll enjoy it. Or, as one reviewer at Rotten Tomatoes said [helping the movie reach its 31% score], "The entire project is a crushingly lazy attempt to create a piece of titillating, exploitative horror-comedy that manages to achieve none of its aims. A mirthless, joyless experience, this is a movie with absolutely nothing going for it." ~ IGN Movies UK writer.
What the hell does he know, anyway?
RATING:
rock hard. live harder. o_O
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